I am: My birthday!

I am the light of my soul
I am beautiful
I am

I discovered this performer Sirgun Kaur when I first subscribed to Spotify and learned how to create a playlist. This was only two years ago. (Because you can teach and old dog new tricks LOL) I have shared her before because her words and songs are at just the right place for my sacred journey.  

Today I am 69 years old. As I sat for meditation this morning, I thought about my own mother.  She would return to the beloved at the age I am.  She had 8 children and undiagnosed bi-polar disorder disorder and alcoholism.  I have harbored many difficult emotions about her over the years.  However today, I realized that in her life time I had never cooked her a meal, made her bed or visited her in the hospital  Instead, I blamed her for not making me the center of her entire universe (you know what I’m talking about, right?)  My own five children have done that with me, so NOW I can say I know what it really means. 

We are never enough for our children. They deserve the universe–as do all children. Meanwhile, we live in a time when children drown in an ocean trying to reach the shores of freedom, or are huddled in cages at the border of the richest and most powerful nation of the world. Meanwhile, we cannot extend our military budget far enough to “secure” the privileges we think make us important. 

However, contrary to these gloomy thoughts I celebrated reaching 69 times around the sun by playing this song to myself. Yes. I literally stood in the mirror and sang it to myself.  Instead of finding the faults I am never free of, I wanted to celebrate the extreme beauty of my gift of life from Allah. I have experienced things, gone to places, met, loved and been loved by people I could never have imagined.  

I am the bearer of the divine light.  Allah gifted this light to me with the first breath She breathed into me at the moment of my entry into this earthly plane. It IS necessary sometimes to express our gratitude by accepting the bounty that is in our lives.  

Yes, we struggle.. We struggle for personal and political reasons. BUT we are blessed beyond ANYTHING that we have ever done to deserve it.  

So the next song I listened to actually spoke about gratitude.  To truly feel that gratitude I think, we must first acknowledge the LIGHT of the soul.  I am bountiful.  By the bounty of Allah.

  Happy birthday TO ME! and many more in sha’ Allah

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