I have only this year started to share to public my amazing five children. I raised them alone for most of their 30’s-40’s years. THEN.. they became parents. The proof is in the pudding.
As parents they are so much more amazing..BECAUSE they have already exceeded what I had tried to do as a parent, especially when co-parenting with ex-partners.
In this case, Paloma Amina is my ONLY granddaughter. She is the daughter of my middle child, my son Khalil, the only one of my two sons who is a parent. He named her with her mom, thus the two names, one of them mine. THAT was the first surprise and honor.
Now, Paloma is 8 years old and VERY very secure, loving, responsible oh so FUNNY!! and able to engage the world at all sorts of creative levels. Earlier this month, my son Khallil posted some photos of her basket ball team for which he is the coach. In my entire life I have NEVER known a man who was coach to a girls’ sports team. I saw it on TV but never in real time (I know a few dads of boys’ sports.. alhamduliLah)
This week when Paloma won first prize for class talents he wrote how he cried. This past two years I have had to do a lot of past trauma healing. Inner child embracing. So of course I thought through so much of MY childhood and MY parents, may they rest in peace. I endeavored to raise my five children mostly ALONE without repeating whatever I had negatively experienced in my own upbringing, remembering that my parents were PEOPLE too and some ones raised THEM.
As my son is the same astrological sign as my father, the Rev. who bequeath me the loving God (al-Wadud) but was also steeped in the benevolent patriarchy of HIS time, it is MORE than I could ever have expected to SEE my hands on son these past 8 years.
The cycle of dysfunction CAN be broken and I am redeemed every time I see one of his posts. NOT because I am the cause, BUT because, Allah is GREAT and can allow us to WITNESS what greatness CAN be in this incredible intergenerational way.
I hope you enjoy this in the spirit in which I share it. It is NOT politics, or justice struggles. It is JUST JOY and a cause to celebrate. May LIGHT shine on Paloma, her parents Rheanna and Khalil and ALL the children of the world